The family of muskoxen...

This Family…

Laughs & learns

Prays & protects

Apologizes & appreciates

Works & worships

Fights & forgives

Teases & trusts

Gives & grows

Believes & belongs

Loves & lasts… Forever

One of my closest friends became a gramma this week when her sweet son & his beautiful wife had their first baby. I was completely swept away by their news & all of the adorable pictures of their little one.

It also made me very conscious about how much my own little family is changing. Our oldest son will be marrying the precious girl he met on his Florida internship in just a few short months... We are so excited about her officially becoming part of our family & starting this new chapter of life together. 

Recently, I think partly because we are now living in a tiny apartment, people have been asking us some interesting questions about how our family functions. I guess in some ways it does seem weird that our boys don’t mind sleeping on the sofa bed when they come home & none of us really minds being contained in one room. 

We’ve always been a close family. 

I think that to some extent this may be because in our early years, Chuck’s military service moved us around quite a bit… or maybe that, like it or not, his current work in the ministry puts us in a somewhat unique & sometimes lonely position. As a mama, what I’d really like to believe is that we have become this way because when we started our family, we were intentional about what we built it on. It has always been really important to us that our kids know that they are our priority. We are committed to them. We are committed to always pick up the phone when they call (even if it’s 2:40 in the morning & they are only calling to sing happy birthday) & committed to soaking up every bit of quality time we can get with them. No matter where they are or what they do, we want them to know that we are here to encourage, support & love them. Now don’t get me wrong, we are far from perfect. Sometimes we are moody, crabby, insensitive & sometimes… GASP… we are annoying.  

When Chuck & I were talking about this last week over lunch, he likened us to muskoxen. I had no idea what he was talking about so when we got home I researched the muskoxen online. Almost immediately I fell in love with them. 

The musk ox live in Alaska. They survive the harsh conditions of the arctic tundra because their long hair & woolly undercoat ward off frost & provide insulation. They are shaggy & social & have a sturdy build. 

Hmmm… I almost laughed out loud.  

What was my husband trying to tell me?

& then I saw it: 

Muskoxen live in small herds & have a distinctive defensive behavior: when the herd is threatened, the bulls & cows will face outward to form a stationary ring or semicircle around the calves. The bulls are usually the front line for defense against predators with the cows and juveniles gathering close to them. 

That cinched it. We ARE the muskoxen. 

As Chuck & I continued to reminisce about our family, I began to wonder… should this be any different for the way we feel about or treat our spiritual family?

We really are a small herd… making a life journey across the cold tundra, searching along the way for companionship, food to keep us strong, shelter from the wind & safety from our predators. God has designed us to live in community together. We need each other.

‘If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— 

then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. 

Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. 

Put yourself aside, & help others get ahead. 

Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. 

Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.’ 

–Philippians 2:1-4

For love of… the Frye Boot

“We should be astonished at the goodness of God, 
stunned that He should bother to call us by name, 
our mouths wide open at His love, 
bewildered that at this very moment we are standing on holy ground.” 

- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out

I am in love…

Actually, I’m more in lust…

With a pair of Frye boots. 

My current boots, that I’ve worn almost every fall-winter-spring Minnesota day for going on six years, are in really bad shape. The treads are gone, the heels are worn down to next to nothing, they are dinged & scuffed & are quite frankly… embarrassing.  This might seem reason for some to toss them out but fortunately for me, I don’t really mind them… too much. But recently, they have begun to leak & that is a problem. Even for me.

DRAT!

So I began to research purchasing a new pair. I know this may sound a little strange & maybe a little extreme but this is what my librarian mind does. I just want to get the best quality for the best price because I want to be wearing these new boots for the next ten years or until the soles falls off.  After all, it took me six months of researching, test-driving some twenty-five different types of vehicles & finally Chuck’s truck completely dying before I purchased my Subaru.

It was while doing this extensive research that I found Frye.

Everything about this company appeals to me…

“On March 10th, 1863, John A. Frye opened the doors of a small shop on Elm Street in Marlboro, Massachusetts.  The shoes he made weren’t icons of fashion or fanciful in style. They served a simple purpose: to ease the daily working lives of the hundreds of factory workers in that small New England town. 

The individuals who wore the first Frye shoes were just like us: people who valiantly labored, honing skill and craft, supporting their families and community. When homesteading sparked adventurous New England families to head west in the mid and late 1800s, many of those pioneers wore Frye boots along the journey. 

In time, John Frye’s family would grow and, along with it, The Frye Company would expand. Each generation of Frye men dedicated themselves to the art and craft of shoemaking, creating new patterns, discovering new materials, and even inventing shoe-making machinery. Their fervor for the process of crafting footwear as durable as it is beautiful has been our company’s benchmark, ever since. And this dedication has helped us craft footwear with a long and illustrious history.” –The Frye Company Website. 

Mmmmmmmm…. Can you feel the love? 

The trouble is, they are expensive. Um… they are more than expensive. They are ridiculous expensive. & while I do have the money to purchase them & my husband gave me the green light to buy them for my birthday, I just couldn’t. I mean, didn’t I just walk through eighteen months of down-sizing, experience a life change & have a complete over haul of the heart? As much as I wanted them, I just couldn’t reconcile the price with what I felt God continuing to ask me to do in regards to our finances. 

Double DRAT! 

So I expanded my search to second-hand sites, consignment shops & the ever elusive ‘sale’, hoping to find just what I want with a price I can reconcile with my heart. 

I became completely obsessed with the search & with my love… er… lust for Frye… 

Then Saturday night it happened. I found them. On sale. On the company website. No matter that it was two in the morning, & I was up on the prowl because I couldn’t sleep & my brain wasn’t at its researching finest. I had finally found the thing that my heart truly longed for… at 40% off.  EEEEEK! 

So I threw caution to the wind & did something I rarely do. I jumped into a purchase without reading the fine print. Instead, I found myself gleefully clapping my hands together & doing the dance of joy at my kitchen table in my jammies before running for my wallet & ordering my very own pair of Veronica Slouch Boots, with the extended calf. Size 8. In black. I could almost feel their buttery soft leather against my legs, their superbly built in arch support under my feet. It was fabulous! I tucked myself into bed with visions of tucking my skinny jeans into them & taking my fashionable self to work & church without a hint of embarrassment. 

I rode that high right until after church Sunday morning when I realized that I didn’t get a confirmation email of my purchase. So I called the company directly, & I found that the website where I had placed my order was a fraud. Yes it looked like Frye. It had slick pictures & icons taken from the ‘real’ Frye site. It even posted the proper telephone number to call if I had any questions. But it was a scam. Apparently, Frye doesn’t have sales. Their boots are so great, they don’t have to. So there was no great deal. No fabulous boots coming my way. 

Instead I spent Monday morning on the phone with my bank, alerting them to stop any kind of suspicious charges to our account, cancelling out my debit card, admitting to my husband what I had done & trying to salvage any shred of pride I had left. Fortunately for me, the fraudulent company hadn’t tried to charge our account yet & I don’t have a pair of pleather boots that I spent a half-an-arm & a half-a-leg on, that I can’t get rid of. 

I confess all of this today because as I was trying to reconcile my total lapse of judgment, it hit me that this is very often how we treat love. We obsess over it, we chase after it, & we choose to accept the counterfeit version while doing the dance of joy in our jammies at two in the morning. & when it invariably doesn’t live up to the ‘real deal’, we dream of what ‘could have been’, while stroking it ‘one last time’ before we grudgingly begin to grieve it.  & then & only then do we allow God to pry it from our cold, clammy fingers. 

Seriously? 

God’s love is authentic...  there is no counterfeit for it. It is unfailing, undeserved, & unconditional. It is pure, perfect, & it is holy. It is deep & wide & high & low & it will envelope us completely if we let it.  

As for me today… Not only am I convinced I’ve gotta let the boots go, I’m finding that the last eighteen months was just the tip of the iceberg of God’s work in me. 

God, investigate my life;
    get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
    even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
    I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
    before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
    then up ahead and you’re there, too—
    your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
    I can’t take it all in!

-Psalm 139: 1-6

I could need a little more Jesus… & a little bit less of me.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kiLH0iyisw

Ditching social media? The crazy continues...

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: 

Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, & walking-around life—

& place it before God as an offering.  

Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. 

Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. 

Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. 

Readily recognize what he wants from you, & quickly respond to it. 

Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, 

God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”  

–Romans 12:1-2 (the Message)

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know it may seem like I have been hammering away at you with this verse… the truth is, it’s been chipping away at me for almost a year.  

 

For those of you who have been watching us closely these past 12 months,while it may appear as if we have completed the journey God had set before us to downsize our material possessions; it’s becoming very clear that God is choosing to continue to work in us & our preconceptions of what we ‘deserve’ when it comes to time, talent & possessions.  

 

As some of you know that we were without internet & cable our first few weeks in our new place & while at first it seemed like a major sacrifice, we’ve come to find that we kind of like it. Looking back on our past lifestyle & habits, it really is staggering to think of just how much time we have spent engrossed in a TV program that gives us nothing of real value or how quickly we get sucked in to social media or surfing the internet for more… wait for it… ‘stuff’. 

 

Not that these things are all bad. The media that we are able to access in this day & age is nothing short of miraculous… We are grateful for these wonderful  tools that  keep us informed of the current news & weather, keep us connected with our loved ones who live long distance & the incredible way we can use them  to share what God is doing in our personal lives & in the world around us. Unfortunately, this is the exception, not the rule. 

 

So, after some discussion, Chuck & I decided not to add the cable back & to take a different approach to the way we use the internet… social media in particular. Some of you have already noticed the way Chuck has ‘downsized’ his Facebook lists & page. He’s encouraging people to call him instead of Facebook messaging him. He’s found that while this tool is great for passing along basic thoughts or information, it is not contusive to pastoral care or fellowship on an intimate basis. It’s surprising how much flack he caught over this decision. Apparently, some would rather remain a FB ‘friend’ than use email, pick up the phone to call or to stop by the office for some real conversation. Despite that, we are choosing to take a stand (shooting a flare over the bow so to speak) & change the way we communicate with others as well as become more cautious of this communication medium. Beware… my page(s) will take on a whole new look in February as well. 

 

I go into all of this because of what this change in mindset is doing to us & for us. As we have spent less & less time inundated with media, we are finding ourselves feeling more & more connected. We find ourselves calling our kids & our families & our friends more. We find ourselves spending more time with people… real people who we can reach out & actually touch… we are having conversations in our living room without having to type or put up with a time delay.  We are doing ‘crafts’ & reading books & playing games & really talking with Hannah & each night after we tuck her in, my husband & I curl up on opposite ends of the couch with a cup of tea & share in real meaningful conversation about life & love & God & discipleship. 

 

Ah… such sweet communion. Isn’t this what we as humans truly long for? 

 

"The tests of the Christian life; though outwardly not so terrible, are even more likely to overcome us than those of the fiery age. We have to bear the sneer of the world-that is little. Its soft words; its oily speaches & its hypocrisy are far worse. Our danger is that we grow rich & proud; give to the fashions of this present world & lose our faith. Or if wealth is not the trial, worldly care causes difficulty... The devil cares little which it is, as long as he destroys our love for & confidence in Christ. We must be awake now, for we walk on dangerous ground. We are most likely to fall asleep to our undoing unless our faith in Jesus is a reality & our love for Him a fervent flame." 

-Charles Spurgeon 

Crazy...

“The concept of downsizing so that others might upgrade is biblical, beautiful...and nearly unheard of. 
We either close the gap or don't take the words of the Bible literally.” 

–Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

 

It’s been a long while since I last posted… 

Our lives have been nothing short of a whirlwind these past few weeks as we found an apartment, packed up our house, found a new home for our beloved dogs, moved into the new place, closed on the old place, unpacked everything we had decided to keep, took the rest to the Goodwill & somehow managed to celebrate Christmas with all that that entails for a pastor’s family. To say that we are exhausted is quite frankly, an understatement. This morning, as I filled my coffee cup for the second time & settled in to write at my desk, I became very much aware that today is my first real day at home without an agenda or a box to unpack. Whew!

It’s been a little crazy at church too… we moved into our beautiful new sanctuary the same weekend that we moved into our apartment.  As we worshiped together that first Sunday I was completely overwhelmed. The Holy Spirit was thick, the music beautiful, the message powerful. But it was even more than that. More personal than that. 

I kept thinking… our church is getting bigger… as we are becoming smaller.  

Some people don’t understand why we are downsizing. They think we are crazy or worse, that we are leaving Avon. Neither could be farther from the truth. I guess I can't really blame them. Our culture, sometimes even our Christian one, encourages us to invest our money in our homes, our stocks, bonds & retirement funds. It tells us to invest our time & energy in becoming more successful at our jobs so we can set aside more, invest more, own more. 

I wondered in that moment, if this is how we are expected to view where we are in the life of our church. Should we take more for ourselves as our church grows? Because we are working so hard ,right? Or should we maintain the lifestyle we are currently living? Because we deserve it, right? Or instead, should we live simply, below what we earn so that we can invest more money, more time & more energy in the work of the ministry? 

Ah yes… 

& so we get to the heart of it... We are decreasing so others can increase. Because we want to invest ourselves… our best selves to Avon Community Church & to her growing ministries. Because we love our church family. Because we love Jesus. 

  “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” 

–Matthew 6:19-21

God cares about all the little things... especially little girls... & even little dogs...

”The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.”

 –Psalm 37:23 (NLT)

Earlier this week, we were able to visit with the family who has purchased our home. They came to see how their furniture would work in the space & asked to meet us. After they wandered around a bit, we spent the rest of the hour & half they were with us, in our living room talking. It was amazing to hear how ours was the only house they looked at… how they felt drawn to it… how it was perfect for what they needed… how they felt like it was ‘home’ to them immediately.  We were struck by how our prayers were answered in bringing this particular family to us. They are both a family of faith & are looking to grow their family here. We didn’t only talk of the house. Chuck & the guys talked hunting & fishing & I talked babies & grandbabies with the girls. As we stood by the door (doing the Minnesota goodbye) the ‘father‘ shook Chuck’s hand & encouraged him by sharing some of the wonderful things that are being said our church in the community. The ‘mother’ reached out hugged me. I hope this is just the beginning of a new friendship. I am so incredibly grateful we were able to share such a beautiful & humbling experience. It reiterated to us how this part of our journey has been so clear.  

The visit also reminded us that while sometimes God’s plan for us our lives is so clear, that we cannot help but see His hand...  there are other times that things seem so unclear that we have to trust Him just to take the next step. This is where we find ourselves as we have yet to find a place to rent. This week I’ve come to terms with the possibility that this means we may need to move into an apartment. This is especially hard for me as I have been hoping we will be able to take our dogs with us. I have to admit I’m really struggling to honor God in this area & still honor the commitment we made to Abby & Yooper when we added them to our family & in honoring the feelings of the precious little girl that lives with me. She’s already had so much upheaval this past year with both of her brothers going off to college & her grandpa moving into his own apartment. While I don’t want her to feel ‘punished’ for the decisions we are making out of obedience to what we feel God calling us to & yet I also understand & trust not only that God loves her best & has her best interest at heart but that He promises to care for her tender heart.

Today I find myself humbled & thankful for the way God is continuing to work in our lives & I'm asking for an extra dose of strength & peace to take the next step in our journey to honor God in all areas of our lives...

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase."
-Martin Luther King Jr.