Sunday Service—the PW’s view from the pew: Volume 1

October 6th:

Such Sweet Communion…

“In the course of their meal, having taken and blessed the bread, he broke it and gave it to them. Then he said,

Take, this is my body.

Taking the chalice, he gave it to them, thanking God, and they all drank from it. He said,

This is my blood,
God’s new covenant,
Poured out for many people.”

-Mark 14:22-24 (the Message) 

I feel I need to preface this blog entry by sharing that the past month my husband has been preaching through a sermon series called, “The Story”. He’s been sharing a bit of a Bible overview by taking the ‘upper story’ (God’s master plan for humanity) & comparing it to the ‘lower story’ (so we can see how our own personal story fits within it). 

This morning our church celebrated communion together. There was a sweet spirit in our partaking of the elements. As my husband prayed over the bread & the cup I felt the Holy Spirit speak to my heart… 

You see, I’ve been struggling with corporate worship for a little while now. Without getting down to the nitty gritty details, I’ve been distracted by people & circumstances that I cannot control. I’ve been so distracted by my ‘lower story’ that I haven’t been able to see where I fit in God’s ‘upper story’ plan.

Then, somewhere between the bread & the cup, it hit me… my life & my family is just a little bitty part of God’s great plan. If I can say I trust Him when things are easy & good; I have to willing to trust Him thru the tough times too.

Oh yes, I had a little ‘come to Jesus’ moment… 

Do I really want to have things my way or do I want to surrender everything to God? Do I want to be comfortable or do I want to be holy? 

In that moment, I opened my hands & I gave it all up. My feelings, my excuses, my fears, my failures.

Suddenly, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders… the chip I’ve been carrying around melted away. For the first time in a long time I was able to really worship… despite everyone & everything going on around me. 

I long to be broken like bread… I long to be poured out wine… I long to live a life that matters…

Broken Bread

May I be broken bread, may I be poured out wine
May I incarnate Your kindness Lord
Spend my life Jesus, anyway You please
Whether on great things, or what seems small

Your will done Your way
Your will done Your way
Your will done Your way

I will not fight You
Take me past the line that my heart draws
I will not fight You
Take me beyond the laziness of my thoughts
I will not fight
Lead me further than I’ve gone before
I will not fight You
I’m abandoned to Your call

Do not let there be, any part of me
That’s untouchable, unreachable
Let my delight be, living out Your dreams
Washing dirty feet, and kissing Yours

God let Your dreams come true, dream through us
God let Your dreams come true through us

-Rend Collective Experiment

http://youtu.be/9z6B_OgEyTg 

Rock on my imperfect PW sistas... Rock on!

He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

-Micah 6:8 (NASB)

It was a rainy Saturday much like today.  I sat in a salon chair having my hair trimmed, quietly listening to the small town chatter around me, when I realized that the subject had turned to our former pastor’s wife. She was perfect. She was outgoing & involved, she led music & prayed in prayer meetings, she was an amazing cook & hostess.

Suddenly, I was caught off guard…

“Why are YOU not more like that?” a woman asked me.

“I am not her. I am me.” I almost whispered.

“Well… we all wish you were.” She quipped back.

It was silent for a moment & then the conversation moved on to something or someone else.

Quickly, I paid my bill & left the shop. As I slipped into the driver’s seat of my car & closed the door, I lay my head onto the steering wheel & cried my eyeballs out.

You see, that woman put words to what my heart already felt. That I wasn’t doing enough. That I wasn’t enough. 

I think many churches do long for the stereotypical pastor’s wife. You know the one… “On Sunday mornings, she stands quietly by her husband, greeting church guests with a submissive smile that says thank you and God bless. She plays the piano, organizes cake walks and never forgets a prayer request. She wears stockings and knows all 31,103 Bible verses. She only raises her voice to sing Amazing Grace.” (a.)

Not only did I feel this kind of pressure early on in ministry but I put that same pressure onto myself. Now with fifteen years of ministry behind us, I know that not only can I not bow to the expectations of others but I have to give myself grace when it comes to ministry. I need only please God… to be true to the woman He has created me to be.

I’m not ever going to be the stereotypical pastor’s wife. I work full-time outside our home. I serve frozen lasagna to my family & have been known to bring a bag of chips to potlucks. I am laid back & unorganized & can just barely carry a tune in a bucket. I am spunky & sassy & struggle to keep quiet in the face of injustice.  I’m always going to be working to be a better wife, mom, daughter & friend.

The longer we are in ministry I’ve also come to realize that I am not alone. I have yet to meet a woman that fits the stereotypical mold & many pastor's wives admit to have been plagued by this idea of a ‘perfect piano playing PW’. It makes me wonder... is she extinct? Or did she ever exist at all?

“I must be taken as I have been made.

The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me.”

–Charles Dickens, Great expectations

(a.)  Pastors' wives seek to break from stereotypes- By Sarah Whitman, Times Correspondent http://www.tampabay.com/news/religion/pastors-wives-seek-to-break-from-stereotypes/2123650

Power in numbers...

'Bear one another's burdens, & thereby fulfill the law of Christ' -Galatians 6:2 (NASB)

 

Today I was able to hang out for the most of the morning with my YPW at a little coffee shop near her home. It was such a joy to be able to share laughter & a little girl talk with her over a delicious pumpkin pie latte. I am incredible thankful for this precious girl. 

I just love her beautiful heart! 

 “I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. 

Powerful stuff.” 

-John Katz

I am normal... whatever that means...

What’s one thing you might not know about this pastor's wife?

I am not perfect. At anything. 

I am instead, every day learning & growing & yearning to live a life that matters… 

to be more like Jesus. 

 ‘Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?) And are you ready to make the accusation that since people like me, who go through Christ in order to get things right with God, aren’t perfectly virtuous, Christ must therefore be an accessory to sin? The accusation is frivolous. If I was “trying to be good,” I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan.’ 

–Galatians 2:17-18 (the Message)

What I Wish someone would have told me before I became a pastor's wife... Volume 1

Ooops... 

So my mama was looking on my blog for the October 2nd update... I just posted on my FB page yesterday but think she is right. I'll add this here as well so there aren't any gaps... 

What I wish someone would have told me before I became a pastor's wife...

Ministry doesn't happen often on the spiritual high peak of a mountain-top experience. Instead, it's battled out in the valley... authentic ministry happens in the muck filled trenches of day to day life.

Mark 9 reminds us that Jesus didn't allow the disciples to build 'shelters' or stay up on the mountain indefinitely, he took them to the valley to pour out their love on those in need.

I love how eloquently Oswald Chambers says it:

"We have all experienced times of exaltation on the mountain, when we have seen things from God’s perspective and have wanted to stay there. But God will never allow us to stay there. The true test of our spiritual life is in exhibiting the power to descend from the mountain. If we only have the power to go up, something is wrong.--We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life— those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength. Yet our spiritual selfishness always wants repeated moments on the mountain. We feel that we could talk and live like perfect angels, if we could only stay on the mountaintop. Those times of exaltation are exceptional and they have their meaning in our life with God, but we must beware to prevent our spiritual selfishness from wanting to make them the only time.--After every time of exaltation, we are brought down with a sudden rush into things as they really are, where it is neither beautiful, poetic, nor thrilling. The height of the mountaintop is measured by the dismal drudgery of the valley, but it is in the valley that we have to live for the glory of God. We see His glory on the mountain, but we never live for His glory there. It is in the place of humiliation that we find our true worth to God— that is where our faithfulness is revealed. Most of us can do things if we are always at some heroic level of intensity, simply because of the natural selfishness of our own hearts. But God wants us to be at the drab everyday level, where we live in the valley according to our personal relationship with Him.

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (October 1st & 2nd)

hiking in Utah for our friend Tracy's wedding

Embracing 'the call'

This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: 

Christ sacrificed his life for us.

This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, 

and not just be out for ourselves.

-1 John 3:16 (the Message)

I didn’t set out to be a pastor’s wife. I planned to be a missionary in Africa. But there was just something about that teenage boy in my 7^th hour chorus class, that drew in me & kept me there. 

We both knew he was called to full-time ministry as he entered college that following year; although he didn’t answer that call till we were married close to ten years.  (you can read the full story in the ‘dayinthelife’ archives)

When he finally stopped running & embraced God’s plan for him, I was fearful of how this calling would affect our lives & the lives of our children. 

Despite what people may think, being a pastor is not your average job. While similar to that of a doctor or police officer or fireman, it is not the same. 

I recently read a blog article called “How being a pastor’s wife is different & how it isn’t” written by pastor’s wife, Sandra Peoples. She said it perfectly…  

“I knew he would come home with burdens most other men don’t carry. I knew he would be on call all the time so our church members wouldn’t have to experience life-changing events alone. I knew our Saturdays would be focused on preparing for Sunday, not preparing for a late night out. I knew we would talk more about the implications of chapters and verses than most couples because he isn’t only applying them to his own life, but he is presenting their application to our church family as well.

And unlike most other professions, I have to spend time with my husband’s coworkers and the people he’s called to care for. Doctors’ wives don’t spend time each week with their husband’s patients. Accountants’ wives don’t have to sit in meetings where their husband’s salaries are discussed. It is an amazing privilege to get to do life with our church family. It’s lovely and messy at the same time. I don’t take that lightly.” 

After 15 years of serving alongside my husband in full-time ministry, I strongly believe that a wife can either make or break her husband in the ministry God has called him to do. Our attitudes hold so much power over the men in our lives & as I see it, we can choose to believe in our husbands & help them, or we can criticize & hinder them in their call.

In Genesis 2:18 God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.” 

As Chuck’s wife, I am his helper, his companion. 

I’m happy to say that not only did I say YES to God but that I’ve been so blessed through the process.

Has it been easy?  No. 

Has it been a smooth journey?  Not at all. 

Have I wanted to walk away at times?  Absolutely.

But when the tough times come & feel like I can’t be stretched anymore, I am reminded that God calls us, not in spite of our weaknesses but because of them & I believe when He calls you… He equips you. We just need to be willing & open to ALL that He has for us. 

"If you live gladly to make others glad in God,

your life will be hard, your risks will be high, and your joy will be full."

- John Piper

Alabaster

Rend Collective Experiment

I am broken at Your feet
Like an alabaster jar
Every piece of who I am
Laid before Your majesty

I will bow my life
At Your feet
At Your feet
My lips
So lost for words
Will kiss Your feet
Kiss Your feet

Oh the gravity of You
Draws my soul unto its knees
I will never be the same
I am lost and found in You

 

http://youtu.be/oi5R7fjZ6wk