Left-Over Thanksgiving "Stuffing"

Psalm 28

¹ To you, LORD, I call;
you are my Rock,
do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you remain silent,
I will be like those who go down to the pit.
² Hear my cry for mercy
as I call to you for help,
as I lift up my hands
toward your Most Holy Place.

³ Do not drag me away with the wicked,
with those who do evil,
who speak cordially with their neighbors
but harbor malice in their hearts.
⁴ Repay them for their deeds
and for their evil work;
repay them for what their hands have done
and bring back on them what they deserve.

⁵ Because they have no regard for the deeds of the LORD
and what his hands have done,
he will tear them down
and never build them up again.

⁶ Praise be to the LORD,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
⁷ The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him.

⁸ The LORD is the strength of his people,
a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.
⁹ Save your people and bless your inheritance;
be their shepherd and carry them forever.

I’m a natural born ‘stuffer’ of feelings.  An over-thinker.  A muller. A stewer.  I’m at odds most times with myself as I want very much to be an authentic person in all areas of my life & yet I’m often afraid that delving into the deepest parts of myself will be painful… like picking a scab off an old wound.  

Recently, I attended a Sunday school class on the Psalms with my Dad, who was visiting from Ohio. As we read through Psalm 28, he shared very candidly about being deeply injured by people… As he spoke, I felt old hurt bubble up inside of me. Hurt I had stuffed & forgotten.  He continued by saying that he found his way to comfort in the shelter of Jesus arms… & as he began to heal, he opened his heart to truly forgive those that hurt him. He even said that he had sought reconciliation with some of these people. Gasp!

Later on that afternoon, I asked him about this whole reconciliation thing. I wanted to know, ‘how did these people respond?’ He said that not everyone had been perceptive to what he had to say. Some weren’t interested in talking with him at all. Not that he seemed discouraged by it. He had done the right thing. He had chose to forgive & gone beyond that to ask forgiveness & extend grace.

So, I did what I do best. I thought. I stewed. I mulled. & I stewed some more…

& then… Ouchy… I began to u-n-s-t-u-f-f…

One by one, I gave those long-buried hurts up to God… I felt my heart soften a little… & I began to understand what my dad was talking about.

This week, I wrote some letters.  I don’t know if everyone I sent one to will remember me or if they will even care. But I know in my heart that I am doing what God desires of me. As Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

It is my prayer that God continue to give me the courage to go beyond forgiveness every time someone hurts me… that not only will I be able to extend grace to my brothers & sisters in Christ but that I will be able to pray God’s best for them… that they will use their lives to honor God & that He will use them in a mighty way for His kingdom!