Friday, October 3, 2014

are you ready?

41 degrees
wind
rain

yep... that was my three mile run this morning.

why? cause i'm committed to training to run a half-marathon with my dad.

training is ugly. like for real ugly.
a little like my life lately.

i've been writing for our church's first ever women's retreat where i'll be speaking in a break out session. the writing has been hard because i'm committed to write from a place of transparency.

i'm not gonna lie. the more transparent i am, the harder it is in my for real life. it's been super ugly people.

not that bad stuff has happened. things in my life are good & this retreat... this retreat is gonna be amazing! it's the inside stuff that's been in constant upheaval.

this morning as i hit mile two of my run, a gust of wind & a semi truck doused me with a big ol' spray of water. shockingly cold, it triggered something deep down inside that spurred me to run faster, harder. maybe i just wanted to get home to a hot shower & a cup of coffee & hubs who is 'so very proud' of me.

whatever it was, in that burst of energy i heard God speak to my soul... "you are mine".

so there i was, running down the road, tears running down my face thanking God for the incredible way He lives & moves & breathes in me. despite the fact that i'm hopelessly flawed. despite the fact that i'm super stubborn & love to go my own way. despite the fact that i'm very often a great big ugly mess.

i'm excited about the retreat. for the opportunity to share how God is growing me. for the awareness that i can't possibly do what i need to do in & of myself. for the knowledge that God has got me. God is so crazy cool like that.






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