learn. change. grow. & all things scary

Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. –Psalm 37:4

Almost two years ago Hubs & I began a life changing journey to simplify our lives. As most of you know, we started this journey by decreasing what we own by two thirds, selling our four bedroom home & moving to a tiny apartment. For us, the journey was less about the stuff & more about changing our lives to reflect what our priorities are… faith… love… & family. We wanted our day to day lives to change in a way where we had less ‘things’ to manage so we could give more of our time, talent & energy to the people & ministry that God has called us to. 

As the week & months went by & we settled into the physical downsized version of a simplified life, it became more & more apparent that God was not thru with teaching us… er… uh… me on this idea of trusting Him... by living simply.  

Shortly after the first of the year, we attended the community ‘Christmas’ party.  On top of being a pastor, Hubs serves as a chaplain with the police & fire departments so we were invited to join in. I was amazed by how Hubs knew everyone… this whole other community that I was unfamiliar with. Because I work full time at a library in a neighboring town, outside of our immediate neighbors & our church family, I have very little contact in the community where I live. By the end of the evening, I was feeling unsettled & to be honest, a little frustrated. My heart wanted what he had. 

To be honest, I thought these unsettling feelings would pass. Especially since my job, as a library cataloger, has been the job of my dreams. But as the days went by, restlessness took hold in my spirit (much like the restlessness I felt when I knew we needed to sell our house). I just couldn’t shake the idea of being able to truly serve in the community where I live.  

I should probably take a moment to remind you that I hate change. It goes against everything I am as a person. I love nothing better than the comfort of my own home with a few close friends, or a familiar place where I can order the same thing off the menu & it always tastes wonderful. I’m not a natural risk taker. Truthfully, the most out-of-the-box thing I’ve ever done was marry Hubs, who is always pushing me to learn & change & grow. The nerve of that guy. 

Anyhoo… As I became more & more discontent at work, I began to pray that God would give me peace where I was. I have a good job that provides medical benefits for my family, so I wasn’t readily willing to make what I would consider a rash decision based on a ‘feeling’ sparked by attending a Christmas party. But as time went on, staying where I am became more & more uncomfortable.  I begged God to show me very clearly what I should be doing. I’m not going to lie, there were several times that the feeling to GO was so strong, I almost just up & quit. In these tough moments, I asked others to come alongside me pray with me… that God would honor the desire of my heart… & bring me closer to home. 

Then just last month, I happened by the bulletin board in the break room & noticed an opening for a branch manager at my local library. I need not tell you how fast I ran downstairs to my desk, pulled up my resume & an application & applied immediately. 

What followed was several weeks of waiting, an interview, more waiting & finally just this week, the call to offer me the position. I accepted on the spot.

I’d like to say that it’s full-time with benefits position but it’s not. But it is in my community & offers me unlimited access to the public. That in itself should be super scary for this introverted chick. But strangely, I’m at peace. I’m reminded that much like the sale of our family home, when God moves us, He often requires more faith than what we are comfortable with. I have no doubt that Hubs will find us some reasonable medical insurance for us & that even with the decrease in hours, with the increase in pay we will likely break close to even. & While it’s less… it’s really more. The extra hours I will gain from working part-time, not to mention the much shorter commute; will be invaluable to the investment of time I will be able to make in the care & feeding of my soul & that of my family, my friends, my church & my community. 

So with all that said… mid August, I will be leaving the job of my dreams to take the job of His. I’m thankful to be learning that taking a risk for Him, lining up my will with His, produces the most satisfaction… & brings peace to my soul.  

“Unless and until we rest in God, we will never risk for God.”  
-Mark Buchanan, The Holy Wild: Trusting in the Character of God