... wanting more?

The mind of man plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps. –Proverbs 16:9

Hubs & I are curled up on our couch in our sweatpants. We’ve finally sat down to relax for the evening. I’ve just set a big bowl of popcorn in between us & he’s channel surfing. He settles on a new hospital drama, ‘Night Shift’ or something like that.  It’s quiet for a while as we become engrossed in the high energy of the medical emergency on the TV. 

“Do you ever wonder what our life would be like if I had become a doctor?” Hubs asks in a hushed voice.

I don’t respond right away. I’m thinking...

Hubs was always going to be a doctor. It was his dream. When we were kids together, he talked incessantly about bones & muscles, bought a book on kinesiology to read just for fun & tried to convince me to watch surgeries with him on date night. 

He began working on a degree in Sports Medicine right out of high school & had big plans to continue on to become a orthopedic surgeon. But due to a combination of financial & spiritual reasons his freshman year, he left it all behind to enlist in the military & marry yours truly. 

Despite the odds, he continued to pursue his goal by obtaining his undergraduate degree in Health Care Administration, while serving full time in the USMC & balancing work & family life. 

After leaving the military he worked full time in Human Resources while he continued his education.  He worked diligently to acquire a master’s degree in christian counseling, with hopes of becoming a doctor of psychology & someday opening his own clinic. 

Through some twisty turns orchestrated by God, he wound up instead with a degree in Pastoral Counseling & he entered the ministry. I’m not gonna lie, I grieved the choice to leave his dream behind… then. 

Hubs question still hangs in the air, “Do you ever wonder?” 

“Nope”, I finally reply, stretching my feet over into his lap. “What you do is more awesome than that.” 

Hubs IS actually a doctor. He holds a hard earned doctoral degree in Ministry. He doesn’t sew up cuts or set bones or bandage wounds like he always dreamed of doing. Instead, he tenderly cares for souls, lays hands on the sick, prays over the broken, & sets about bandaging the wounds of the heart. 

I turn & study Hubs. He’s taking in what I’ve just said. The lines around his soft eyes crinkle as he smiles gently in my direction. Without opening his mouth I know he’s thinking, “You’re prejudice”. In that moment, I realize, he doesn’t always see what I do. Sometimes, he gets discouraged. He wonders. He questions. I reach out & touch his scruffy beard, run my hand along the back of his neck where his hair swirls into a cowlick & lean in to kiss his ear.

I’m often overwhelmed by this man, my husband. Who gave up the dream he had for his life to follow God’s plan for him. This super smart, charismatic, driven man who could have done anything he put his mind to. This surrendered man who leads by being honest about who he is & whose he is & who encourages all of us to desire more from life than that which we can see… more of God in all His fullness. 

http://avoncommunitychurch.sermon.net/main/main/20126388

“For each one of us, there is only one thing necessary: to fulfill our own destiny, according to God's will, to be what God wants us to be.”   
-Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island