selfishness, selfishness is what I long for... wait. what?

Ever get a song stuck in your head & you can't for the life of you get it out? This is going on with me this morning. The song is 'Holiness' by Sonic Flood. Do you know it?

Holiness, holiness is what I long for
Holiness is what I need
Holiness, holiness is what you
Want from me

 

So, take my heart and form it
Take my mind and transform it
Take my will and conform it
To yours, to yours, oh Lord
To yours, to yours, oh Lord

 

Faithfulness, faithfulness is what I long for
Faithfulness is what I need
Faithfulness, faithfulness is what
You want from me

 

So, take my heart and form it
Take my mind and transform it
Take my will and conform it
To yours, to yours, oh Lord

 

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for
Brokenness is what I need
Brokenness, brokenness is what
You want from me
What you want from me
It's what I want

 

The fact that this song is stuck in my brain, is indicative of the way God's been hammering away at me recently to take a step back & take a moment to evaluate what I really 'long' for. I would imagine that this stems partly because Hubs & I have been talking a lot lately about what it means to really sacrifice for the cause of Christ. Not sacrifice in the sanitized western evangelical Christian cultural sense but in the for real real wipe-you-out spiritual one. It's become very apparent to me as God has been working in my own heart that I, along with most cultural Christians, do not sacrifice. Don't get me wrong, there are many people who are doing good things for God but are they really sacrificing? I'm beginning to think not. 

 

I mean, if you really take a moment to think about it, when was the last time you went out of your way to do something for Jesus? When was the last time you did something that had absolutely no benefit to you? 

 

To be blunt, we are super good about dropping an envelope in the offering plate... but not so much that it would hurt us aka keep us from going out to dinner or movie. We quickly volunteer for & attend things that are comfortable for us... things we can do in & of our own strength. We cater to our own pet projects & follow our own agendas instead of watching where God is working & joining Him there. We gravitate toward relationships that are easy & fit into our lives without much discomfort... cause who wants to be held accountable to our actions or God forbid pour your heart into something that might not ever give back to you? Am I right?  

 

In the book of 1 John, the author reminds the Christian church to be aware that sacrifice = love.

 

This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear. -1 John 3:16 & 17

 

Ouch!

 

You guys! what we do for Christ & the way in which we do it matters. Do you think for a minute that Jesus doesn't see right down into our souls? He sees our agendas & motivations. Our selfishness & pride. Do you think He is impressed by the things we do in our own strength? Um no. Do you think He cares about our lame excuses like; "I don't have time" & "That's not where I'm gifted"?  Not likely.

 

What He does care about is that we do things for Him because we love Him & we love each other. This means that we truly sacrifice ourselves... that we put aside... our agendas, our schedules, our time, our talents, our money, our stuff, our love, our dreams, our lives for the sake of the gospel.

 

Yeah, in our culture I know this sounds whackadoo but seriously people... in my experience, whackadoo is where God works best.