There's no place like home...

The packing has been begun. I started last week with the closets. First, I tackled the things we don’t use every day... purging as I went. I have to admit, this whole downsizing process is really causing me to take a look at all the little 'things' that I feel sentimental about. I was careful to pack only our most beloved books, wrap only our most precious keepsakes & finally got sidetracked by several boxes of old pictures. It was such an unexpected joy to sit cross legged on the floor & rifle through the memories those old photos evoked. I laughed at the pictures of Chuck & I in our dating years & stared misty eyed at those of our children when they were small… Josh in his first Halloween costume, his mouth stuffed with candy…  Caleb swimming in his first football uniform, sporting a toothless grin… & our little baby Hannah, sleeping peacefully in a basket… wrapped in a fluffy pink blanket. 

 When I finally came to the closet under the stairs I came across the growth chart Chuck began on the wall when our kids were five, thirteen & sixteen. 

 I was struck by how much they had grown over the past five years & it left me with a little pain in my chest. I wondered if leaving the house where they have spent much of their growing up years would change the way they view ‘home’? Would the shortage of bedrooms & smaller space make them feel un-welcome? Pretty soon it began to really bother me… a lot. 

Then on Saturday, the boys came home from college for the weekend & I noticed something. We hardly left the living room. We lay sprawled out, limb over limb, on our sectional, talking & laughing late into the night. 

Long after everyone else was in bed, I lay awake thinking… this house is not what binds us together. It’s the relationships. It's the time we have had & will spend together making memories. It’s as Sarah Dessen says in her book, What Happened to Goodbye… 

 “Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.”

The Voice of Adventure

So now that we’ve had a little time to get our heads around the sale of our house; we’ve begun to look for another place to live. While we have a couple of months to find something, I have to admit it’s a little daunting… & a teensy bit scary. As a girl who draws strength & peace from inside the four walls of our ‘home’, I’m anxious to find a cozy little place to settle in & nest.

& yet…

I can’t shake the thought that God is not through teaching me how NOT to focus on what’s comfortable & safe…

‘Jesus says the options are clear. On one side there is the voice of safety. You can build a fire in the hearth, stay inside, & stay warm & dry for what you don’t try, right? You can’t fall if you don’t take a stand, right? You can’t lose your balance if you never climb, right? So don’t try it. Take the safe route.

Or can you hear the voice of adventure—God’s adventure. Instead of building a fire in your hearth, build a fire in your heart. Follow God’s impulses. Adopt a child. Move overseas. Teach a class. *Sell your house. Change careers. Run for office. Make a difference. Sure it isn’t safe, but what is?’ –Max Lucado, He Still Moves Stones.

I pray this day, for God to give me the strength I need to continue to step out in Faith & live the life of adventure He has planned for me...  

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? –Psalm 27:1

*I added 'sell your house' for effect :)

Jumping out into the Unknown...

“God is God. Because he is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. 

I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what he is up to.”

–Elizabeth Elliot

Well, it’s official!  December 28^th we will be homeless. As of yesterday afternoon, we have a signed purchase agreement on our house.

When our real estate agent called to tell us, Chuck & I looked at each other & began to laugh.  For the first time in 23 years of marriage we have absolutely no idea what we are doing or where we are going next. It seems completely crazy & yet… we have an amazing sense of peace about it.

Just yesterday my sweet husband made this blog entry. He described just perfectly, the choices we have made in order to 'put our money where our mouth is', to completely trust God's plan for us & jump out into the unknown…

“For the past several months, my wife and I have been doing a great deal of praying concerning the life we have been living for Jesus. We have been evaluating our motives, our desires, and our choices in light of scripture and found that what we, as well as many others we know, have considered the 'Christian Life', has really been nothing more than a justifiable secular Christianity. Together, my wife and I have identified multiple times when we sprinkled faith on top of our old nature and been content to call it an 'obedient' life.  

Not everything we have done or have chosen to do has been this way but over our adult lives, we feel as if we have bought into the 'American Dream' so deeply that it has tainted our vision of what Christ says should be our dream.  When the world tells us to seek the best and the most comfort possible, Christ says to trust Him for our 'daily bread' and to 'store up our treasures in heaven'.  When the world says to continually upgrade everything, scripture reminds us to 'be content with what we have'.

With all of these revelations in our life, my wife and I committed to pray about it all and see if we could discern exactly what God is asking of us.  What we heard was the most irrational request ever.  "If you really want to engage in this faith journey as I have requested of you, I want you to sell your house, and all of the other things that have been a stumbling block in your walk with Me. Don't worry about the economy, don't worry about the housing market, don't worry about what others in your church or your community will think or what they will say to you or behind your back. I have called you to follow ME.  Not this world."

I'd like to say that when Lisa and I felt the Lord say this to us, that we quickly thanked Him for His response and we got right on it.  But it didn't happen that way.  I wanted to question as to whether or not I heard Him right. Lisa cried and felt a sense of mourning for the things she felt God was asking us to give up...that we had grown so comfortable with.  But we knew we needed to listen.  We needed to do as we felt we were being told.  

So, the house is up for sale. We have sold several personal items from the house that we weren't using or used little and have been whittling away at the credit card debt, with the money from the sale of those items. 

We are no longer seeking to live the American Dream but the Christian one that God has called us to. Our hearts desire is to get to the point where we are at a place spiritually as well as financially where we are able to help people out of the blessings we receive from God instead of the scraps we have left.      

Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  For Lisa and I, we will look at people like the disciples and the other great people of true faith who sought to live every aspect of their lives sold out for Christ. And we will no longer focus on comfort and the deceptions of this world but will seek to maintain a constant focus on Christ, who gave everything so that we might truly live.”

As I find myself trying to get my head around the reality of our new circumstances, I'm finding myself drawn back to some of the things I first read in Crazy Love almost a year ago. Yesterday as we waited to hear back from our realtor about our counter offer, I read this quote by Francis Chan, “God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.” 

And so... in 76 days, we will leave this home that God has so graciously lent to us for the past 6 years & embark on to the next stop in the journey He is laying out before us...

"The mind of man plans his way, 
But the Lord directs his steps."

-Proverbs 16:9